The Matt and Cyndi Roadtrip: The Highlights
Day 2: (first full day)
Matt: Let’s stay at a nice hotel tonight!
Cyndi: Yeah, let’s do it!
….a couple of hours later
Matt (after seeing a billboard): They have an INDOOR POOL! Can we stay there?! It’s like 30 minutes away.
Matt: The Super 8!
Matt: I’m not soft. In fact, I’m hard right now.
-About not being “pretty,” making a *cough* tough face.
Matt: The San Andreas hasn’t exploded with earthquakeness in a long time. My mom said to get under a doorway.
Cyndi: When a volcano explodes?
Cyndi: Oh Matty – let’s climb that big hill, mountain-like thing.
Cyndi: But maybe there are baboons up there!
Matt: (stares at Cyndi)
(like an hour later)
Cyndi (on the phone with Justin): Are there baboons in America? ….Yes?! (looks at Matt, smugly) I WIN!
Justin: …in the zoos
Matt: I KNEW IT!
(2 hours later)
Cyndi: See, I thought there were baboons IN the Grand Canyon
Matt: (stares at Cyndi)
Billboards across the states….
“Thou shalt not commit ADULTERY. The LORD will look down on you and so shall I.”
“Where are you going to spend ETERNITY?”
“Team Drivers: JESUS AND YOU”
“BREAST AUGMENTATION $2999”
The License Plate Game: 39 states + Ontario and British Columbia = ROCKSTAR.
Tucumcara is lovely. And 20 degrees less miserable than the rest of Texas/New Mexico.
National Shrine of Infant Baby Jesus (Prague, Oklahoma)
It was pretty much the smallest thing ever. It rocked.
Largest Cross in the Western Hemisphere (Groom, Texas) — June 5
Built in 1995. 190 feet tall and can withstand 140mph winds/F-1 tornado.
….after seeing the world’s biggest cross, the previously air-conditionally challenged car was SAVED! Leslie believed, and she was healed.
…and then so did Matt.
Thought for the day:
The Lord works in mighty mysterious ways….. But seriously – YAY FOR LESLIE!
(…then we saw tumbleweeds)
The World’s Crappiest (and most awesome) Water Park:
Splash Amarillo (Amarillo, Texas)
….that’s uh – pretty much the ENTIRE park.
And the reason we went? Our calling to this grand water park that we did in 25 minutes (Oh, yes, we did pull into the parking lot — that was adjacent to a trailer park — and changed into swimsuits in the car, grabbed money, and did the entire park in 25. yesssssss it was fantastic)
THIS slide = the heart and soul of Amarillo…
Yep. It’s like a PVC Pipe slide called the Side Twister (aka – the bowl). That we rode. It was pretty fantastic. They tell you on the way down, “Keep your butt in the air. Don’t let your bottom hit the slide.” Matt failed at directions. He limped out. Sore. Faaaaantastic water parking!
We found the heart (and 17 year old six-packs) of Amarillo!
The World’s Longest Aerial Tramway(Albuquerque, NM)
$35 = PRICELESS.
Sign on the second tower along the tram ride: “DANGER: Do not jump off tower! Survivors will be prosecuted.”
“Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?”
“Oh, I’ve been to the grandest of all the canyons.”
**Replaces Grand Canyon in Grandness and Canyonness
We went to:
London, Spain, Prague, Palestine, Lebanon, Milan
On Seeing Matt’s Grandpa… (Phoenix, Arizona)
Matt (while driving): My grandfather lives like 30 minutes outside of Phoenix. We’ll be that much closer to LA!
(2 hours later)
Matt: My grandpa lives like 30 minutes outside of Phoenix! We won’t have as far to drive to LA tomorrow!
(2 hours later)
Matt: Hey, my grandpa lives like 45 miles outside of Phoenix. That’s like 30 minutes off our trip to LA tomorrow!
Matt calls Grandpa to let him know we’re in the ‘hood. Grandpa says he’ll drive to the gas station we’re at to meet us and take us back to his place:
Grandpa: I’ll be driving the white station wagon. The front is smashed in. I hit a cow.
(at the house, later)
Grandpa (talking to Matt about his grandmother’s cat that he has been taking care of since his grandmother died): I would still be married to your grandma if we could have made it work. She’s the only woman I’ve ever really loved, and I loved her until the very end.
Matt: And now you have the cat.
Grandpa: …and now I have the cat.
And then the car broke down 15 minutes outside the city at the last gas stop.
California AAA #: 18004009222
Abel Repairs. Ghetto. Fab. More ghetto. Less fab.
$552 for air conditioning repair…….. that somehow compromised the entire car. YAY
(while car was being prepared)
-walking on the highway, gross-nasty
Cyndi: I just feel like life is going to give us a box of chocolates, and we’re going to make….fondue
Matt: I feel like life is going to give us penguins, and we’re going to make a piano. ….THAT’s pretty much what you just said to me.
Exist 33. Baldwin Park. Yessss.
Heaven = GUADALAJARA GRILL!
er, um, excuse me – the neighborhood SIZZLER! (we got wireless!)
Later that night. At the Grand Park Inn.
Tina Fey on Paul’s ass.
WHERE DO WE LIVE PAUL?! WHERE DO WE LIVE?!
(later. walking out of Target)
Matt (generally bummed out about money and life and his decision to move to LA)
Cyndi: Matt, the great thing about dreams is that if one fails, you can move on to the next one!
Matt: I can’t handle you right now, Hallmark.
And then FINALLY…. finding an apartment. (finally as in, a whole day and a half in the city homeless)
Gale: Yeah, Tal said…
(turns out PAULS name is TAL)
Tal’s Ad: A lot of stuff has been filmed here. Most recently some Ashton Kutcher/Amanda Peet movie (ugh).
Cyndi: MATT WE ARE GOING TO LIVE WHERE AMANDA PEET LIVED IN A LOT LIKE LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
Matt: That means nothing to me.
Cyndi: (shows Matt the scene in A Lot Like Love. They look at the pictures on the ad)
Matt: WE’RE GOING TO LIVE WHERE THEY FILMED A LOT LIKE LOOOOVE!
And that, is the nonsensical, ridiculous bits and pieces of our trip that I journaled.
It was truly fantastic. It took us like four or five days. Two days (ish) once we were in LA to find a place. And now we’re here. It’s a single apartment (meaning the bedroom/living room is the same thing, and the kitchen is slightly separate). It’s tiny but fantastic. We live at
1245 Vine Street Apt. #309 Los Angeles, CA 90038.
We’ve waited our entire lives for Los Angeles addresses. And now we have them. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet!
We live right in the middle of Hollywood – Hollywood Boulevard is like four blocks down, and Arclight (huge, famous movie theater) is about two blocks away.
So that’s life for us!
Hope everyone is doing well!