It’s time, America, for your results:
Will it be Los Angeles, the home of the television and film industry, where Cyndi can set her sights on becoming the next great TV writer…
Will it be Japan, the underdog in this competition, the one with stability and stamina, the choice the judges have chosen but about which the contestant has doubts?
Last night over 4 votes came in, America, and I can now reveal to you, in no particular order… that Cyndi Waite…
WILL be going to Japan!!!
(she also watches far too much reality television)
Anywho. Going to Japan. I’ve decided. I still can’t say that I’m one million percent, and it’s a strange feeling – as Intern Noelle pointed out today (and I’m completely aware of) – I don’t really feel or do anything big part way. I feel things really intensely, and I do things really passionately. It’s strange for me to be at a place where I’m not passionate – but maybe the passion will come. I’m not NOT passionate, either. The excitement is growing. Every night I look up more information about different cities and prefectures, and I feel that tingle of excitement. But during the day, when I’m at the magazine, I remember how much writing and editing and maybe tv writing is my path, and I can’t help but get discouraged again, thinking that teaching English in Japan for a year… doesn’t quite fit in or help me reach my goals.
THIS blog, though, is supposed to be about excitement and sharing the news of making the decision. I had made the decision a couple of days ago, but then I read that the average JET needs around $3000 in start-up costs, and I was so disappointed, knowing that it wouldn’t be feasible for me. Even with selling my car, I didn’t think I’d be able to have enough. Then today, I had a pretty rough day at work – Noelle was offered the assistant position we interviewed for. I didn’t necessarily even really want the job – It’s not where I would have been happy, it’s not a job that would have utilized my strengths. But it still unraveled me – partially because it was a hit to my ego, and a lot because my excitement for her in getting a real job, a big kids job – with benefits and a salary and all that good stuff – reminded me that I’m nowhere near that. For her, this job IS a stepping stone to her bigger goals – and it just made me realize that I don’t even know where my stepping stones ARE, let alone be jumping up them. So I was pretty down about life and doubting myself AND on top of it thought that JET wasn’t an option EITHER anymore. And then when I was told that Noelle got the position, she offered me a position with over double the hours I am receiving now working on a project until mid-July. The amount I’ll be making will be what I need to do JET! Life is pretty incredible, huh? Or maybe it’s the people in it. It was a good reminder to me – I’ve been feeling negative lately. I’m going to save all the money from that job and live off the money from my second job. It will be tight, but it’s doable.
back to Japan.
So – I leave July 25, barring me being able to finish all the paperwork. It’s going to happen. I can’t see it yet – it’s like when I was in middle school and so excited about college already, but I couldn’t see it – it was so far away that it was like… I felt like I genuinely would NEVER be there, almost like I would have to die first – it was jsut that far away. It’s sort of like this – I think my excitement and passion for this experience is there – but I can’t SEE the experience yet – I know so little about Japan.. it’s such a foreign world and language and culture to me that… I just can’t… I can’t put myself there yet. I’m going to start learning the language – JET sends us language books, and I’m going to keep reading and learning about the country and the culture. I will see it soon 🙂
So… in two months and 12 days (if I did the math right), I will be…
somewhere in this picture. I’m hoping for Okinawa…. but who isn’t?!
I think I will either rename this blog or start a new one to chronicle the Japan adventures – I think I’ll name it “Leaving on a JET plane.”